I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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