I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize