is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
