He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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