Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
