Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize