I wanna bring you to show and tell
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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