There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
