i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
