Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so let's talk penis.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
