if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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