How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
