I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
