Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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