Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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