You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
