hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
