Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
