I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
How's work?
Spinning.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
