theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
