It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
