I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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