last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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