First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
