I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
