Already got asked if we're dating
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
