yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
