I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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