he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
