it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
