I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize