new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
