As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
