Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Pants are for mortals
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize