..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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