My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
