I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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