look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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