What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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