So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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