Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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