why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
