Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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