her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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