I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
