paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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