Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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