Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dear god my vagina.
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