But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
