Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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