i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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