Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
