Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
