i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
What a dumb baby whore.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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