I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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