I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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