quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
