just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
