I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Less talking, more tequila
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
