NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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