...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
it's like heaven, but drunker
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I still have a little drunk in my system
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
