is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
