I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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